Note to self.....

Stay focused...don't cry....remember what God has done.....don't cry.....stay focused.....remember, remember......!!!! These words keep sounding in the back of my mind lately. I am helping my son go thru his stuff and helping him get ready to leave for college and I keep having to hold back the tears. It's somewhat strange...these are not your normal, last child to leave tears, nor are they the "Now what am I going to do?!" tears. Those tears came the year he graduated from high school. These are the type of tears that come when you look at what God is doing! I listen to him talk about his excitement of the coming year and how it will be good to be challenged and pressed on by God and the tears just come! I think back to when I was his age and how much farther he is along in his christian walk than I was...and the tears of gratefulness come. This is the very child that God choose to teach me about how strong my sin nature was (now that was a hard season)! There were seasons of fighting and anger, repentence and forgiveness and restoration for both of us. But there were also seasons of laughter and crazy funny stuff, where I would laugh so hard I could hardly see where I was going as I would run to the bathroon!! This is the child that could make me so crazy mad and in the same moment break that anger with some ridiculous funny comment (I hated that!). And this is the child that sent me to my knees in tears, seeking my Heavenly Fathers help! Yes, there are lots of tears this week and so I must remind myself to stay focus for a time and yes....remember and be grateful, very grateful!